Plight of The Bumblebee

I remember, as a child, a few of life's initial disappointments: some teachers couldn't spell 'definitely', doctors weren't infallible health sentinels and Kenny Everett enjoyed a bit of sausage pitch and catch with the pool boy.

Nowadays I understand the incompetence of society in general must be assumed and that it is no respecter of profession or rank. Therefore on the few occasions that you do cross paths with one of life's accomplished experts you are best sticking with them.

I unearthed one of them in a recent sports physio appointment. I'd initially booked the appointment because I suffer from chronic stitches, but in the interim priorities have changed and my sore knees took point. I've given them a chance - about 8 years actually - and had finally decided that perhaps they weren't going to magically cure themselves.

After a few flexibility, stability and strength tests followed by a video treadmill session we arrived at the conclusion that I resemble one of NASA's bumblebees more than their space shuttles. It appears that foot and glute weakness combined with horrendous ankle inflexibility means that everything is pointing in contrary and incorrect directions. The result being that my knee, achilles and plantar are being pulled in all directions at once which has turned me into a one man knee-wrecking machine.

Better the devil you know and armed with a repeat appointment in 4 weeks I'm now embarking on a series of seemingly full time correctional exercises.