Rather than hit you immediately with scandal-filled features I'll do the sensible thing and familiarise yourselves with my running background. Although they say familiarity breeds contempt (and no doubt this will ultimately prove correct) it is useful to contextualise my running expolits.
As a youngster (this refers to anything or anybody under the age of 21) I dabbled in high jump, long jump and sprinting. I represented my county at both high jump and cross country - the former because I was probably the one boy who had tried it and the latter because I was the only one who had tried in it. I didn't particularly train for the events, more "did them" occasionally amongst other sports.
At university I squeezed in some sprinting and long jump amongst my principal sport which was drinking (an interesting combination which resulted in lots of farting during hyperextensions). I can't say for sure but my best for the 100m was about 11.2 and long jump just north of 7 metres.
While working in the US I took up running more seriously between 2000 and 2002 which ended prematurely due to respiratory problems and culminated in a painful slog round the Richmond marathon (never again..........perhaps).
Tomorrow I am competing in the Cambs County Track Championships at 5k where I desperately hope I will not be lapped. I have never run a 5k on the track before and there is something depressing about running round in circles for 12.5 laps. Nevertheless, I am hoping to run a PB (PR for the yanks) of 16:29 or better and I am going to shoot for even pacing.
So, there we have it, the stage is set and the game is afoot.....